I'm hoping someone here can give me some helpful NON-JUDGEMENTAL advice.
I've been very happily married for five years and we have two beautiful young children. We have a great life together and I'm so proud of our little family. My husband and I also get on with each other's families. He has an older sister and a younger brother which is great because I'm an only child so it's great to have got two new siblings via my husband.
The problem is my sister in law, who is a really lovely lady, formed a friendship with my husband's ex-girlfriend a few months back. My sister in law was very honest and upfront about it. She didn't try to hide it or anything and was very sensitive towards mine and my husband's feelings which I greatly appreciate. I do get it: My husband's ex was his first proper girlfriend and they were together for a few years and she was pretty much a part of the family. When my sis in law had her first child, the ex was pretty much aunty to my now nephew and she definitely had a strong bond with my in-laws. But she fell in love with someone else which is why she and my husband split up and she actually went on to marry the other person although they have since divorced.
I'm not totally sure how she got back in touch with my sis in law, and it is only my sis in law that she speaks to and no one else, but I feel a little uneasy about the situation. I know that the ex is NO threat to my marriage. She's not interested in my husband nor vice versa. They haven't bumped into each other or anything like that since she started talking to my sis in law again but I do worry that that could happen, and I know it would be really awkward. There's a part of me that feels silly for having an issue with her. After all she was before my time, I have a strong marriage, I know I'm loved and supported by my in-laws, and my husband doesn't have feelings for her. I suppose no one wants the ex of partners past hanging around, and I would have just preferred it if she wasn't in our lives just as she hasn't been for several years.
How do I get over this feeling whatever it is and stop acting like the jealous wife? I really don't mean to be.
Ah, thank you everyone for your kind words. I was a little worried about the kind of comments that I'd get but you've all been really sweet so thank you.
Just to clarify, right now my sis-in-law and my husband's ex are just Facebook friends - that's how they've reconnected. As far as I know they haven't met up in person yet. If they had, I'm sure my sister-in-law would have said because she is very upfront and wouldn't go behind anyone's backs. I suppose it could happen because they were good friends at the time, plus she was very close to my eldest nephew so there's a chance she might want to see him again, and if that happens, then I suppose I'll just have to cross that bridge when i come to it. 🙄
Someone asked why I feel so threatened by her. I don't think it's 'threatened' so much as 'awkward.' If I'm honest I dread bumping into her again and having to make small talk and whatever. But I know that I don't have anything to worry about. My husband and I have been together for quite a while now. We've built a life together and a family. I suppose it's just being confronted by the ghost of girlfriend past!
And I'm so grateful that many of you have picked up on what a lovely lady my sister-in-law is as well as all my other in-laws. I really am a lucky lady because as a couple of you said, there's loads of people out there with horrible in-laws, and I'm delighted to say that I'm not one of them! 😊
Thank you all.