So I came across the above article today and it really got me thinking. I for one have never used these community sites that they're talking about where people see if they can get free items or favours or whatever it is they are in need of. But I have come across plenty of people from colleagues to neighbours to so-called friends who try their luck in seeing what they can get out of you. I really can't stand insincere behaviour so I avoid these kinds of people like the plague.
A lot of people talk about the good old days when there was community spirit and everyone looked out for each other and so forth. But these days we've become so cynical that despite wanting to feel part of a community and give each other a helping hand, we shy away from people the moment they ask for something because we feel like we're going to be had. But for all we know, they could be genuinely kind-hearted people who would be willing to give you a helping hand if you need it. And I have to admit, I'm guilty of thinking like this too.
Have we become so cynical as a society that community-mindedness has gone out the window?
I think people have become so cynical because we live in a world where there are too many takers who take too much and give nothing back. I too have met many people like this. But I like to think I'm a good judge of character. I know when someone genuinely needs help and when someone is just taking advantage. The latter never gets my help and I don't feel bad about that at all.
I know there are people out there who like to take advantage of other people's kind nature. But people are different and we shouldn't assume that everyone is the same. I think I'm a pretty good judge of character so if I felt like someone was taking advantage, then I would stop with the favors.
And someone else has already pointed it out but if you give away something you didn't want and that person goes on to sell it, then what's the big deal? You didn't want it anyways. If I wanted to sell something I didn't want, I'm perfectly capable of setting up an eBay account. If I don't do that, then clearly I don't care about the money and fare play to someone who showed initiative. That's what I think anyways.
I'm in agreement with everything that's been said so far. It's good to help someone out. It's good to give away things we don't need especially if someone else can get some good use out of it. But when we feel we've been taken for a ride, then it makes us wary, and when it happens to often, it just makes us jaded to the point where we think everyone is like that. But I don't want mickey-takers to turn me into an old cynic (it's bad enough being old!) I like to think I'm fair and that I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I'm happy to help but if I have strong concerns that someone's taking advantage, well they'll just have to get their favours and freebies elsewhere!
I think that community sites and groups are a great idea. But wherever you are, you are always going to encounter people who are going to try their luck and are just out for what they can get. I have many a time. I don't suffer fools gladly and don't put up with that kind of nonsense once I've identified that kind of character. But I wouldn't refuse to help someone who genuinely needed my help. That's not the kind of person I am and I won't let some chancer turn me into that.
Maybe in the world in general there may not be much in the way of community spirit. But that's why I'm so glad that I live where I live where there's a real sense of community and people being friendly and helping each other out. I won't pretend that it's one of those places where everyone leaves their doors and windows unlocked (who does that any more?) But there's a lot of genuine souls here and we feel very at home. I'm so glad my kids get to be raised here.
It's a lovely idea to be able to give away things in perfectly good condition that you don't need any more. It's one way to be less wasteful. I have family who live in America and I know that in some neighbourhoods, residents leave out tubs with things that they want to get rid of and passers by are welcome to help themselves to anything that might take their fancy. It's a pity we don't have something like that over here in Britain.
It's one thing to offer or ask for things that you might need especially if you've fallen on hard times. But it's another thing altogether to be downright cheeky. Getting work done in your home for free by pretending that you're keen to make friends with your neighbours, or guilting your new soon-to-be neighbours into giving you free lifts by claiming that your current neighbours are happy to drive you around is quite frankly a step too far and would definitely make me less charitable towards such culprits.
I think these community sites are a great idea. If you no longer want/need/use something than why not give it to someone who will use it rather than see it end up in landfill. And if they do go on to sell it on eBay then so what? Once you give something to someone, especially something unwanted, it's theirs to do as they wish. There will always be people in life who try to take advantage of kindhearted people. You just have to try and be smart and not let them get the better of you. Take the neighbour in the article for example. Everyone knew she was on the make so they ignored her. But we shouldn't go through life thinking everyone is the same.
I think that in life we've met one too many people who have taken the piss so it's made us a lot less trusting to the point where we think that most people are out to get the better of us. In the case of the woman in the article who wanted her house painted and trees pruned, she was taking the piss on a major level. It really does take some nerve to come out with requests like that in the guise of friendship! Unfortunately people like this do exist in spades. They are super confident and somehow manage to railroad people into doing things for them. Once I see that in people I avoid them like the black death! But I have no problem in helping out decent people who are genuinely in need.