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The Loves and Loathes of Being an Ex-Pat: The Loves (Pt. i)

Updated: Sep 10, 2021



There are many reasons why people decide to live abroad: work, study, love, a fresh start or just a deep desire to try something new and broaden their horizons. And while there are a great number of other benefits to living abroad, there's unfortunately also a less than fabulous side. For those of us who have lived or are living the ex-pat life, you know that it's a bit of a roller-coaster ride. On the one hand you're embarking on a new adventure; experiencing the excitement of a different way of life; a new beginning; meeting new people... But then on the other hand, becoming an ex-pat is so much more than just sailing off into the sunset with your polka-dot knotted hanky on a stick! Big moves often come with big lifestyle changes which can sometimes feel a bit unsettling and overwhelming as you try to integrate yourself into a new country.

In this two part post, we take a look at the highs and lows of living in another country; hear the experiences of those who, for better or for worse have made the move and talk about ex-pat life as it really is, and look at ways to ride those highs while trying to steer clear of the lows as much as possible. In this first part, we take a look at the benefits, advantages and all the good things that life in another country has to offer.


1. LIVING THE DREAM!



When we were little and we started learning about different countries at school; met someone interesting from abroad, or started watching the latest foreign import soap opera, we all at one time or another harboured aspirations to go and live in another country when we grew up. And for some of us, the dream doesn't necessarily die when we reach adulthood; it's just that real-life gets in the way. So the dream remains just that - a dream.


That's why it really is an achievement when you take that step and actually go and set up home in another country. It's quite an accomplishment to be able to get your visas/permits; hop on a plane with some of your most treasured possessions; get a new job; a new place to live; make new friends, and basically start navigating a new way of life. It's a chance to get out of the rut of everyday life in the same town with the same faces. Remember you are doing what most people wish to do but never actually get round to doing, so don't forget how fortunate you are to have this opportunity and really go for it.


MAKE THE MOST OF IT!

  • Have you ever seen the look of pure wonder on a toddler's face after seeing a decorated Christmas tree for the first time? Moving to a new country means you're going to be experiencing plenty of new wonderful and amazing things whether it's the local cuisine, fashion trends, historical sites, cultural events etc. So get out there and make sure you have as many of these 'wow' moments as possible.

  • Aim for as many cultural experiences as you can whether it's learning a new language, playing the country's national sport, or exploring your new country's arts scene.

  • Share what you've learned/experienced with your family and friends back home. It'll give them a new perspective on life in general as well as dispel any long-held myths they may have had about your adopted country. You never know - it may inspire them to visit... or even think about going to live in another country.

  • Most people love learning about other people's cultures so the locals might be quite intrigued by you and want to know more about where you come from. Introduce them to popular TV shows from home or invite your new friends over and cook them a traditional meal.

  • Share your experiences with the world! Have you noticed how many expat blogs and vlogs there are out there? As an expat, you are blessed with the opportunity of experiencing life in a country different to the one you grew up in. The experiences that you have and the things that you have learned could prove invaluable to others including future expats or people who just want to have a general idea of life abroad. So find a way of documenting these experiences which you can then share with others.


2. STEPPING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE



Even the most outgoing, adventurous of people can often feel overwhelmed by relocating to another country where you have to start from scratch. Moving abroad isn't just a question of stepping out of your comfort zone — it’s often feels more like taking a big, massive leap. Through a hoop. That's flaming. Backwards! If you flunked GCSE French, the thought of having to learn another language may fill you with dread. If you never learned to drive/are a nervous driver/find owning a vehicle to be a major expense and hassle, you'll be horrified at living in a place which doesn't have a good public transport system. You'll also have to explore your new surroundings; get to grips with the work culture; register with a doctor; set up your finances... and that's all before you learn where the best places to hang out and meet people are!


For those of us who aren't keen on change or don't have the biggest sense of adventure, moving abroad can be a seriously overwhelming experience. But it's amazing what you can do when you need to. A lot of people who have made the leap abroad have felt that this has boosted their confidence; enabled them to grow; has got them out of their shell, and uncovered their true potential.


MAKE THE MOST OF IT!


  • While some people like to jump in head first and go with the flow, others prefer to be well prepared. If you're the latter, be sure to do your research first so that there are no nasty surprises when you get there. As well as the necessary documents and immunizations you'll need prior to leaving - which are essential knowledge - find out whatever else you'll need to know, from food, healthcare, climate, laws, and customs to what to expect on a daily basis. Research enables you to discover where you need to compromise/work around, and what's an absolute deal breaker before you even contemplate a new life abroad.

  • Having something to focus on and work towards will prevent those feelings of being stuck. So think of attainable goals you would like to achieve while you're out there - learning a new skill; retraining; volunteering etc. - as this will make your time in your new country more productive and give you that sense of achievement.

  • Let's not lie - stepping out of your comfort zone isn't easy. But you don't have to do anything big and bold upon arriving. Take those all-important baby steps: find a new local coffee shop; try a different route to work; join an activity group; say hi to the regulars at your local pub... each new thing you do, no matter how small will get you used to your new environment. Every little step will help you get accustomed to your new home. And if it's something that gets you out of the house and meeting new people, that's even better.

  • If you're unable to continue with the activities you did at home, break out of your comfort zone and try something new. Ask around or look online to see what's available. If you really feel up to pushing past your limits, why not begin your own activity group, either through the local library, meetup group, or even your place of worship. There's lots of options available and the more you do, the more you'll feel comfortable in your new surroundings.

  • It's useful to get to know expats from other countries, and meet people who are in/have been in the same situation as you. You might find that they are a huge source of advice and support. It'd be handy to look up expat groups on social networking sites to connect with other people from around the world who might just be living on your doorstep.


3. MAKING NEW FRIENDS... AND POSSIBLY FINDING LOVE!



The internet and modern day technology have made the world seem a lot smaller and now meeting people from all over the world has become a whole lot easier. And all from the comfort of your living room! But of course when you go to live in another country, you come into contact on a regular basis with people you might otherwise never have met - even in your living room while on a social media platform! Whether it's your new work colleagues who you get to know over after-work drinks; hanging out with your new neighbours, or even making friends with the guy who runs the coffee shop - it's amazing the people you'll cross paths with and you might even become lifelong friends. Or find lasting love!


MAKE THE MOST OF IT:


  • Say yes to as many invites as possible. Don't be shy!

  • It's true that a lot of people like to keep their work life separate from their home life but if your new work lot invite you out to lunch or after work drinks, it'd be a good idea to go. It's a good way of easing yourself into a new social scene.

  • While we know that not all neighbours are like the ones you find on Ramsay Street, if you live in the kind of neighbourhood where they all get together, have cook-outs, and generally have something of a community vibe, give it a go and try to join in.

  • There's absolutely nothing wrong with hanging out with other expats but make sure your circle includes a lot of the locals too.

  • Join a class or activity group to so you can meet more likeminded people.

  • Join a dating site if it's love you're looking for. Or see what events there are for singles.


4. REINVENTING YOURSELF



Moving to another country brings out a side to you you never knew existed - as well as the chance to restart your life. A lot of people who have made a new life in a new country have said that they're not the same person they were when they arrived. Moving abroad brings about a lot of changes and gives you the chance to reinvent yourself. You learn to adapt to your surroundings; pick up new skills and ways of doing things; you come out of your shell more, and really appreciate the person that you've become.


MAKE THE MOST OF IT!


  • Many people living abroad often find themselves with more time on their hands than they had at home, so use this time to do something that you've always wanted to do but didn't have the chance to when you were at home. It might be taking a class, trying a new activity, or trying to realize a long-held ambition... now is your time to put all that into action.

  • Now is a good time to sort out bad habits. Perhaps you've moved somewhere where healthy eating and an active lifestyle is the norm, or where smoking and drinking is a bit of a no-no. This is your chance to reduce your consumption of junk food, cigarettes and alcohol (if you can't cut them out altogether) and adopt some good habits in order to make important changes to your lifestyle.

  • If for whatever reason you need a career change, look into the possibility of retraining. Check out colleges which do the accredited courses you need to get you into your new chosen field.


5. IMMERSING YOURSELF IN A NEW CULTURE



We could always learn a language at an evening class; grab a recipe from a magazine, and watch cultural festivities on TV... But what better way to understand a new culture than full cultural immersion; by going to the country and experiencing everything that it has to offer first hand?


When in another country and totally immersed in the culture, you learn things that you could never get from a book or documentary. You begin to understand the nuances, different aspects, and subcultures within a particular culture. You learn what is important to certain communities and what they hold dear. Whether we like to admit it or not, most of us have presumptions and preconceptions about different countries and communities.

Once you have a better understanding of other cultures and you’ve seen your preconceptions proved wrong, you’ll be careful not to be jump to assumptions so quickly in the future.


Seeing how people live in another country can also give you a new perspective on life, and will enable you to incorporate these discoveries into your own life. You'll chill out more if you find yourself living in a place where the pace of life is slower and less hectic. Where there is an emphasis on a more outdoorsy lifestyle, you may become more active and nature-loving. And the issues that exist in your adopted homeland may have you developing a deeper appreciation for your own place of birth and the things you took for granted. And let's not forget being exposed to popular culture and entertainment that you might otherwise have missed out on.


MAKE THE MOST OF IT:


  • Go with an open mind and understand that things may be very different to what you're used to at home. Things that are weird/acceptable at home may be seen in a different light in your new country. Be aware of the local culture and social conventions and remember when in Rome...

  • You have the perfect opportunity to learn and master a new language. This is a great skill and will really enable you to understand and integrate into the local culture.

  • Try new activities and sample new cuisines. See what your new home has to offer.

  • While it's always good to make friends with any fellow expats, remember that when it comes to understanding the ways of your adopted country, there's no better teacher than the locals, so don't shy away from including them in your social circle.

  • Joining in with festivities is another good way to learn about the culture. So try to attend any of the events that the locals will be going to. These are often centered around a holiday or celebration with religious/cultural significance and is a good learning - not to mention fun - experience. Plus it's also a great way to meet new people.


What do you love about living the expat life?


Photos: Pixabay

Blog graphics and word cloud: Angel Noire

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2 Comments


MandyH
Jul 02, 2022

There's ups and downs to living in another country. But on the whole, I'd say it was a very positive experience. You get to learn so much, much more than you'd get from books or a travel programme. Plus you get to do something that a lot of your family friends may not get the chance to do, and you get to pass on your knowledge to them. so it really is a wonderful opportunity.

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Bellisima
Bellisima
Jan 18, 2022

I enjoyed so much about my time overseas. Immersing myself in a new culture and language, making lifelong friends, getting a chance to see a different way of life, making a contribution to the community life there, the list goes on. It really is an incredible experience. If you're lucky enough to be able to live or at least have an extended stay in another country, really make the most of it. I also fell in love and got married! I don't mind admitting that the marriage didn't last but it did give me my two kids who are my whole world, so yes a lot of good did come out of it!

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