These days most of us tend to be cappuccino and cake kind of people, but seriously - who doesn't love a good tea party? Especially if it's done properly. This rather elegant pastime is considered to be a quintessentially British pursuit; so much so that in the States, an afternoon tea party is considered to be a regular occurrence for all British people. Well sorry to be the bearer of bad news guys, but most of us from the 'old country' don't even own a piece of fine bone China, never mind use it every day. Most of us can't even remember the last time we used a saucer! On the rare occasions us cappuccino drinkers do drink tea, it's usually from a take-away cup - just like our cappuccinos!
But a classic afternoon tea party can be a fabulous occasional treat and is very popular for birthdays, bridal showers, anniversaries... and some married couples opt for a tea party instead of a full on traditional three course wedding breakfast. Tea parties are great for when you feel like being super elegant and refined and want to go overboard with the dress coats, tea dresses, hats, gloves, monocles, pearls... Told you it's not an every day thing!
Tea parties can vary in terms of theme, style and food served. Although they are usually considered to be quite formal occasions, they don't always have to be. They're just great fun; ultra relaxing, and a chance to socialize with a cup of tea and a huge slice of cake! However if you choose to go down the formal route, there are certain customs you might want to take heed of.
So here's the low-down on tea party etiquette.
TEA PARTY ETIQUETTE
IF YOU'RE THE HOSTESS:
1. Depending on the occasion and how formal you want to be, you may want to send out proper written invitations rather than to simply text/phone email them. Make sure you send these out in plenty of time.
2. Once you've greeted your guests, show them to the table and invite them to sit down. Whether you give them assigned seating or allow them to chose their own seats is up to you.
3. As the hostess, it's your job to serve each of the courses and pour the tea. Make sure the conversation is flowing as much as the tea is, and that your guests have enough to eat and drink.
4. It's fine to arrange for someone else to do the serving if you wish so that you can concentrate on just having a good time with your guests.
5. If you are not able to get outside help and you have a fairly large number of guests, you can nominate a couple of friends to help serve - especially if you know that they are happy to do so!
6. You might think you are being helpful to your guests by bringing ready-sliced scones to the table but these are always served whole.
IF YOU'RE THE GUEST:
1. It's always nice to bring a small gift for the host or hostess.
2. Take your place at the table and wait to be served.
3. Keep your purse or handbag on your lap or behind your chair but not on the table.
4. When the party's over, always send a handwritten note of thanks to your host - preferably within a week.
FOR EVERYONE:
1. Place napkins on your lap. If you need to leave the table, leave the napkin on your chair and not on the table.
2. No reaching across the table for anything. If you'd like something, ask someone to pass it to you.
3. It's perfectly acceptable to eat with your fingers - no one eats sandwiches with a knife and fork - but anything that has the potential to be messy should be eaten with a fork.
4. Remember that thick cream is for scones - not for tea!
5. Take small bites of the sandwiches no matter how tiny they are. Don't cram a whole one into your mouth. Now is not the time for party pieces!
6. When eating scones or muffins, break off a bite-size piece, then put a small amount of butter and/or jam on it. If clotted cream is being served, a small amount can be dabbed on after the jam.
7. Don't dip the sugar tong or sugar spoon into your tea if you are taking sugar.
8. Stir the tea with your teaspoon and then place the teaspoon on the saucer behind the cup.
9. If your tea is too hot, simply leave it on the table to cool. Don't blow on it to cool the tea down - and especially not to the point where you're creating a tsunami in a teacup!
10. Slurping is not acceptable...
11. ...And neither is dunking biscuits!
12. Whatever our American friends might say, it really isn't necessary to stick your little finger/pinky out when drinking tea from a teacup. Who does that??? But if that's what you wish to do, then fine!
This is of course a rough guide and 'rules' are pretty much up to you.. The most important rules which goes without saying is that everyone should be happy, comfy, well-fed and having fun!
Enjoy!!!
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